Columbia - All sounds © Columbia
Starring Nicolas Cage, Meryl Streep, Chris Cooper, Cara Seymour,
Ron Livingston, Tilda Swinton, John Cusack, Brian Cox
Directed by Spike Jonze Written by Charlie & Donald Kaufman
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CHICKEN.WAV - (Nicolas
Cage) - Why didn't I go in? I'm such a chicken. I'm such an idiot.
I should've kissed her, I've blown it. I should just go and knock
on her door right now and kiss her. It would be romantic. Something
we could someday tell our kids. I'm gonna do that right now. (sound
of him putting the car into gear and driving away)
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CLICHES.WAV - (Nicolas Cage) - It's like, I don't wanna cram in sex,
or guns, or car chases. Ya know or characters, ya know, learning profound
life lessons, or growing, or coming to like each other, or overcoming
obstacles to succeed in the end. It's , it's, the book isn't like
that, and, and life isn't like that. It just isn't. I feel very strongly
about this.
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DONEWITHFISH.WAV
Chris Cooper: I once fell deeply,
profoundly in love with tropical fish. Had 60 GD fishtanks in my house;
I'd skindive to find just the right one. (names off several) you name
it. Then one day I say F fish. I renounce fish, I vow never to set
foot in that ocean again. That's how much F fish. That was 17 years
ago and I have never since stuck so much as a toe in that ocean, and
I love the ocean.
Meryl Streep: But why?
Chris Cooper: Done with fish.
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DECONSTRUCTIONIST.WAV
Donald Kaufman:
I meant to ask you, I need a cool way to kill people. (laughs) Don't
worry, for my script!
Charlie Kaufman: I don't write that kind of stuff.
Donald Kaufman: Come on man, please? You're the genius.
Charlie Kaufman:
Here ya go. The killer is a literature
professor. He cuts off little chunks from his victim's bodies until
they die. He calls himself the deconstructionist.
Donald Kaufman:
That's kinda good, I like that.
Charlie
Kaufman: See, I was kidding Donald.
Donald Kaufman:
Oh OK, sorry. You got me! You mind if I use it though?
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DNA.WAV - (Nicolas
Cage) - You and I share the same DNA. Is there anything more lonely
than that?
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DONTSAYINDUSTRY.WAV
Donald Kaufman:
I'm taking a 3 day seminar, and it's only $500!
Charlie Kaufman: Screenwriting seminars are bullsh*t.
Donald Kaufman: In theory I agree with you, but this one's different.
This one's highly regarded in the industry.
Charlie Kaufman:
Donald, don't say industry.
Donald Kaufman:
I'm sorry, I forgot.
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